I am ...

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• funny 
• a wife 
• a people-pleaser
• a mom
• nice
• a daughter
• sedentary
• a photographer
• a sister
• a singer
• silly
• an aunt
• a teacher
• a student
• a writer
• hard on myself
• a woman of prayer
• a daughter-in-law
• fearful
• strong
• a step-daughter
• patient
• kind
• a sis-in-law
• encouraging
• wordy

I love the picture here, but I must admit, I totally diagree with it. How I see myself is not what is most important. See I'd like to think of myself as a lion all the time, but reality sets in. There's a full length mirror right there that tells me the truth. And truth is truth whether I want to believe it or not. 


I have wide hips from my mom and a double chin from my father's side of the family. I have to wear reading glasses now, and I hate the tears that fall when I encounter a heart-touching ANYTHING. I don't like making mistakes, especially stupid ones or second-timers, and there's nothing worse than wasting the time and energy of others.


Don't worry. I'm not down or dissing myself! I'm just telling it like it is. And I'm okay with all the imperfections I display in my physical appearance and in my behavior. They are as much a part of who I am as the music I sing, the stories that bubble up, or the family that surrounds me, so why should I shy away from them?


Another reason this sentiment is so wrong happens when the imperfection begin to overwhelm. Last Friday night, while my Precious Redhead sat laughing with her friends, watching a Tim Hawkins video here at the house, the church at the end of our street went into lock-down. A family dispute somewhere else ended with a man driving away from his home with a gun. The police found him in the church parking lot, refusing to leave his car. This guy had been a prominent chef in downtown Dallas, talented and well-off from the patronage of his exclusive restaurant, and yet at about 12:15 AM I heard the shots ring out as he came out of his car brandishing his weapon. 


That's the type of thing that happens when what matters most is how we see ourselves. See my eyesight isn't so hot. One minute I see a crown atop my head and the next, I see horns. What appeared beautiful is actually slimy, disgusting, and putrid. Or worse, the image fades into blurs with no features, nothing that stands out or seems worthy. Or maybe I'll keep seeing that queen, yet knowing deep down that I'm lying to myself. 


What REALLY matters most is how God sees me. That vision isn't swayed by mistakes, messes, or anything else I can do or have done. He sees me with nothing less than the glory of Christ. When my Savior collected all of the ugliness from me, dying with it, in my place, God replaced my sin with Christ's perfection. Paul describes us collectively, as flawless, "without stain or wrinkle or any other blemish, but holy and blameless." (Eph 4:27) 


Oh do give a listen to this awesome song!


Like the song says - "When He sees me, He sees His righteousness. He sees His Holy Spirit filling up the emptiness. When He looks at me, He sees the blood He shed." 


I am SO glad He sees Himself each time He looks at me!

H is for ...

Hearing the message.

Wow! Have you ever noticed the descriptive words and phrases that Paul uses in Ephesians 4? They are the exact opposite of the things we usually see, even among Christians.

He starts out by urging us to “live a life worthy of the calling … received.” Our worthy

B is for ...

If A is for Appetite, B is for Balance.

The Bible speaks about appetite. In Philippians, Paul writes that those who live as enemies of Christ are led by their
bellies. "Their destiny is destruction, their god is their stomach, and their

X is for

X-IT 

I know I'm cheating a little, but this post is a continuation of my last two posts about fears. Sometimes they are unreasonable - like heights or elevators or closed in places. Mind you, the fears are real; there's just no reason behind them.

Yesterday and the day before, I talked about some things that scared me through my childhood. They were ridiculous, goofy things that shouldn't have scared anyone, but they terrified me. And might I just add that the terror still visits every now and then when I'm at my most vulnerable? I don't stare up at the ceiling anymore, but I still hate windows at night! Yikes! (And yes, as I wrote yesterday's post in the

You Are What You Eat!

Dear Banana Boy

Oh, I'm gonna get a fussing for using this pic of my dear boy! However, a glance at the birthday picture at the left, or the one of the family on the right will confirm the ancient status of this Halloween photo. But it is so stinkin' cute!

The section that I read this week (1John 3) calls a skunk a skunk and a dove a dove. (Wish my Sweet Hubby and Bubba had known the difference.) Basically, John explains that if the animal looks like a skunk, sounds like a skunk, and smells like a skunk, it probably is one and we best stay upwind of it.

John basically said that a Christian could be identified by his actions of purity and love and that a non-believer could be identified the same way, by his habits of sin.

At first this seemed so judgmental to me. No wonder folks think of Christians as intolerant. But then I examined it a little closer. I look at it this way. What if my

Weekend-spiration

This week in the online Bible Study that I do (from the website Good Morning Girls), we finished up with 1John chapter 2. One of the sections was from verses 18-19.

Dear children, this is the last hour, and as you have heard that the antichrist is coming, even now many antichrists have come. this is how we know it is the last hour. They went out from us, but they did not really belong to us. For if they had belonged to us they would have remained with us; but their going showed that none of them belonged to us.

There is so much to unpack with these two verses!

Weekend-spiration: The Kudzu of Life

The verses in 1John inspired me this week. He spoke about the difference between living in the light and living in darkness. It took me to the picture below.

What an amazing view. The emerald landscape, straight out of a fairy tale, is truly beautiful, if little creepy. 

This is kudzu, a plant indigenous to China. It was brought to the United States on purpose during the 1876 and 1884 World's Fairs. Like a warm blanket or comfortable chair, the vine wraps around the host, bringing it beauty and choking away all life.

I'm convinced that bitterness is a

Weekend-spiration

I'm so enjoying my mornings lately. No, I'm NOT a morning person, unless you count the hours after midnight. But my mornings have been successfully highlighted for the last two weeks with a Bible study. It's not that I don't regularly study, just not in the morning.

I'm the type that sets her alarm for the latest possible time and then slaps the snooze button at

Weekend-spiration - Am I Up to the Challenge?

This week, I embarked on an online Bible Study with ladies from all across the country. It's sponsored through a sight called Good Morning Girls and my group is a Facebook group of Homeschool moms. Over the next 12 weeks, we will take a walk through 1 John. Have you seen

Weekend-spiration - My Favorite!

I'm really enjoying my visits to Faithful Bloggers. Not only is the founder, Courtney Chowning, insightful in her own posts, she gives suggestions for inspirational blogging that others can do. That's really a ministry when you think about it. She could just serve to build up her own site by keeping all the great ideas to herself, but her generosity shows in how she promotes the sites of others, for the building up of the Kingdom and the glory of God.

Love the "for the good of the whole" attitude! But I digress.

I find there are times I need to visit the site for some fresh ideas. What God is

Three Reasons

"Behold, I stand at the door and knock." Jesus

"Knock three times on the ceiling if you want me." Tony Orlando

No I'm not comparing the two, just sort of attaching the messages loosely. I think the Lord tries to get our attention to open our eyes about His plans. That is made obvious when different people bring the same message over and over. If I see the same Godly message twice, my ears perk up. When it comes three times,

Weekend-ispiration: His Strength is Perfect

“His strength is perfect when our strength is gone. He’ll carry us when we can’t carry on. Raised in His power the weak become strong.”

Last weekend, I told you about my daughter and her singing tour with a group from Dallas Christian College. She had a humbling experience that had nothing to do with her singing, but everything to do with her spiritual condition. My precious redhead had been consumed with the performance when she met a foreign missionary who had returned to the states with cancer. He was, in her words, spending some of the last moments of his life encouraging the next generation.

Weekend-spiration:

I had a blog for this Far Side (by Gary Larson) cartoon all written and buttoned up, but I just can't use it. See I looked at this and focused on the bitterness of the comment. I know Christians aren't always viewed with smiles and welcomed greetings, but focusing on that just isn't my thing.

That doesn't mean it's not truth. Jesus told us that we would be hated because He was hated. It it what it is.

But I don't want to dwell in it.

I'd rather talk about the picture itself, birds traveling in their little design, sort of like the bumper art on so many of our cars.

There, that's where I want to go with this post! Those little fish bumper stickers that you see on people's cars. I have a friend that has 2 big fish and 3 little fish representing their family. Stinkin' cute idea, but my bumper isn't big enough for my family. And I have a friend with 7 kids - forgetaboutit!

Character Flaw: Anxiety Attacking

I am not a worry wart. No really. I grew up with a worrier and, although at times I feel it creeping up on me, I avoid worry and all the stress it entails. Do I sound like I'm in denial?


Seriously, I have learned to go soundly to sleep even when my son is out and about. I can set aside my imaginary tragedies when my girls are spending the night somewhere. I have even been known to cast off the frustrations of my sweet hubby about his various jobs - well, sometimes!

I realized, though, that this is just training. The more I practice peace through the midst of daily days, the better I will live in peace when something really does happen. (But I'm not asking for an exam at this point, Lord!)

My goofy boy

I had a situation that put me to the test a couple of years ago. In the middle of hosting a scrap-booking retreat, I got a call from my sweet hubby. A Sunday morning call, during church hours when his plate was always totally full, alerted me that something was up.

My son was on a mission trip to Honduras, with a week there and a week to go. All my hubby had to say was "I got an email from the mission people" and I burst into tears. So much for training!


It ended up okay. (Isn't it always easier to look back on worry issues than to live through them?) Even though there had been a military coup, the kids had all gotten back safely, albeit early, but the whole event and the pins and needles that I sat on for 3 days waiting to hear from my boy were eye-opening and revealed a flaw in my character that I really thought I had under control. The truth slapped me up side the head; I am a worry wart! I don't practice it daily, but I don't prepare to avoid it as well as I should.

I don't look like a worry wart, but it's what goes on inside that truly reveals the character.  That is the place where I need to "take every thought captive" (2 Corinthians 10:5) and choose not to entertain even the imaginings of tragedy. Meanwhile, I work on the daily practice and pray for the safety and health of my kids and sweet hubby, then set them back in my Father's hands where they belong.

I don't pretend anymore that I'm not a worrier. That's a lack of faith that even the disciples experienced, but I will persevere with my training and put my hope in Him that whenever a peace-requiring situation does arise, I will have what I need to give Him honor through it.

Are you a closet worry wart, too?  Don't let me think I'm the only one!  What would you tell this worry wart?